A Life Better than Expected
by ayelles
Summary: What happens when Ryan and Theresa's life hits rock bottom? They face the world, the worst- everything. A story of revelations. Please R&R!
1. 1

He runs his hand through his messy dark blonde hair, and sighs deeply. Its only been a month since he left Newport and it's as though he never left Chino. He here is, bussing tables at Parker's. His eyes shift from the dirty plates in front of him to the large clock on the wall. 8:57. Only three more minutes before his shift ends.  
  
She's on the bathroom floor, right in front of the sink. Too weak to even reach the toilet bowl, she collapsed right there. There's blood on the floor. A lot of it. Tears have marked streams down the sides of her cheeks. Her dark hair shuffles everytime she sobs. She's been weeping since she realized she couldn't stand up. Darkness overcomes her as she slips from consciousness. The sobs have stopped.  
  
"Theresa?" Ryan calls as he walks into the house. "Hello? Anyone home?" Everything in the house seems normal, the furniture is still in place and there is only a slight smell of cigarette smoke and coffee circulating the air. He is confused though, normally she is there to greet him when he comes home. Their work hours intersect just at this time. By the time she returns at one, he is fast asleep. The mornings are theirs though. Waking up next to her- he thought it would bring guilt but instead it has brought peace. Knowing that she carries his child, he feels so connected. Not only to her, or to the unborn child, but to the world.  
  
"Hello?" He's beginning to worry now. There is something not right in the home. The stillness of the interior begins to frighten him. Imbalance begins to caress his skin and worry lines form on his forehead as he begins to frown. Walking from the kitchen to the living room to the backyard, he sees no sign of her. No shoe on the floor, no laughter to greet him, no scent of vanilla perfume. Rushing, he enters the bedroom. If she's there, he'll know something is definitely wrong. They never stay in that room during the day. It is for them to sleep, to rest, to be together. He knows that Theresa hates to be there without him. Why would she be there now?  
  
She's not there. Where is she? She wouldn't have left for work without greeting him first. He knows enough about her to know that. Eyes, hands, thoughts, customs, habits- he knows her, all of her. It was so unlike the way he knew Marissa. That girl was of a different world. Her drama and problems. Her self destructive streak. There was love in his heart for her, but in that same heart he knew, he loved being in love with Marissa much more than he actually loved Marissa.  
  
He sees the light turned on in the bathroom. A small sigh of relief escapes his soft lips. She's just in the bathroom- doing God knows whatever pregnant women do in there. His black boot takes another step forward though and his blue eyes widen in alarm as he notices the open door... and the head of hair on the floor.  
  
"Theresa!!" he kneels by her head and slowly touches her face. He's looking for breath, for life. Noticing the tears, he realizes that she has been experiencing a horrible pain. He looks up and for the first time, notices the blood by Theresa's legs. The baby. "Oh God." he mumbles to himself. He picks her up and gently carries her to the bed. With her head cradled in his lap, he calls an ambulance. And then he calls the Cohens. 


	2. 2

"Ryan?" she calls out when she regains consciousness. Disoriented, she examines her current situation. Bright white lights, shiny white tiled floors, a flimsy cotton hospital gown, an IV tube connected to her arm and the deep twisted firey pain of her belly. Her hand automatically touches that part of her body. Shutting her eyes, she silently counts to ten, praying that by then the pain will have stopped. But it doesn't.  
  
"Mama?" she calls out again. Hoping that they have not left her in the hospital alone. She wonders who found her. The last clear memory she has is trying to rush to the bathroom. Vague flashes of pain and sobbing persist in her mind, and she wonders whether Ryan witnessed any of that. She never wanted him to see her in moments of weakness. She could be strong. She knew it. It was just the pain- the deep unbearable twisting of her insides. A gasp escaped her.  
  
A figure walks closer to her bed, she is too weak to raise her head and is beginning to realize that the bright lights are making her dizzy. The figure comes closer, it is her mother. She tries to say hello, but is soon overwhelmed with the need to cry. There is complete devestation on her mother's face. The older woman's forty year old frame was smaller than usual. Shoulders drooping, head hung low in a melancholic way. Theresa wants to ask her mother what is so wrong. Why are you sad, Mama? Is it because I'm in the hospital? What's wrong with me, Mama? Not a sound leaves Theresa.  
  
Theresa becomes more conscious of herself now, the drugs are obviously flowing in her bloodstream, her neck aches from the lumpy hospital pillow, her fingernails are diggin into her belly. Her belly. The baby. Oh God. Is that what-? No. No. No. No. No.  
  
"NO!" Theresa screams out loud. Her mother grabs Theresa's hands which have began to flail and strike out in every direction. With a firm hold on her daughter, she envelopes Theresa in a hug. Having wasted all her energy on the outburst, Theresa collapsed into her mother's hug. Tears flowing down her face and two words continuously spilling from her liips. My baby.  
  
Ryan, sitting in the hospital waiting room, folds his hands in prayer. God, please, You took the baby. Please, make Theresa okay.  
  
"Hey kiddo." It's Sandy Cohen. Ryan looks up, big blue eyes have turned dark and youthful skin has been attacked by wrinkles and other lines of worry. Sandy tries to smile but can't. On the phone, Ryan sounded distraught- almost afraid. Now, seeing such a young boy in such a state of dispare, Sandy wasn't sure what to do.  
  
"She..." Ryan trailed off. He didn't want to finish the sentence, afraid that admitting it, would make the awful fact true. Knowing in his parental sixth sense what had happened, Sandy said nothing and instead placed a comforting hand on Ryan's shoulder. It gave Ryan the courage to face the truth. "She lost the baby."  
  
Her mother had gone home to get ready for work as soon as Theresa fell back asleep. But Ryan never left the hospital. He asked Sandy to leave a short time after Theresa's mom left. He knew he had to be by her side- he didn't want to place a burden on Sandy to stay.  
  
"When you go back to Newport, please don't tell anyone what happened." Ryan asked calmly, as Sandy stood by the hospital door. "I mean, I know you've already told Kirsten, but I don't want anyone else to have to worry. And Seth... Just. Please?"  
  
Sandy had agreed. A wave of relief flooded Ryan as he did. Though he had originally left Newport to take care of Theresa and the baby, he needed a good time away from his new life. It was good. It made sense for a while. But he knew that his standing as "the boy from Chino" would never change. And hey, might as well be "the boy from Chino" in Chino, right?  
  
He smiled to himself and then stopped immediately. This was not a situation where smiles where welcome. Theresa lay in the bed in front of him. Tubes attached to her arms forcing fluids of drugs into her weak body. Her long lashes swept delicately across her cheeks as her eyes fluttered, entering the girl into consciousness.  
  
"Ryan." she said. It was all she needed to say. It was hello and I'm sorry and I can't believe this and You're sad and I'm sad and I'm glad you're here all rolled into two tiny syllables. Her deep brown eyes looked into is blue ones- the color was beginning to lighten again. Gently, she moved her hand over to find his. He held that one slender hand of hers, closed between his two rough large hands and brought it to his lips. He softly kissed her soft flesh before resting their hands on the bed again.   
  
"So Dad, where were you?" Seth asked noticing his father's car pulling into the driveway, late Thursday night. "Mom's been really worried since you left. What was so important at the office?"  
  
"Just some business stuff, son." Sandy replied distractedly. Ryan and the hospital and Theresa on a hospital bed were still on his mind. He walked into the house with his lanky son trailing after him. Grabbing a beer out of the fridge, Sandy appreciatively gulped down the alcoholic beverage.  
  
"You come home really late from work. My mom's worried as heck. And you're chugging down a nice cold one." Seth continued animatedly before his face dropped in shock. "Oh my God, you're having an affair! How could you?! I don't believe you! How long has this been going on?? I demand answers!" His voice rose with each coming phrase and soon, Kirsten Cohen entered the kitchen with messy hair and bathrobe. Seth had woken her and she was not happy.  
  
"You demand answers to what?!" she asked before turning to her husband. "Are you okay?" Seth glared at his father but said nothing to his mom. Instead he just gave her a lingering hug and left to go to his room. But not before sending a deadly look at his father. 


	3. 3

Ryan, sitting in the hospital waiting room, folds his hands in prayer. God, please, You took the baby. Please, make Theresa okay.  
  
"You know, its better like this," she said, trying to smile. "Can you imagine us as parents? You and me? We wouldn't know who was causing more trouble, the parents or the kids."  
  
Ryan chuckled softly, touching Theresa's cheek. "And all three of us would be going to school at the same time." he added.  
  
"And imagine the chocolate bills!"  
  
"And the overload of Barney songs."  
  
"Oh man, not Barney songs."  
  
"What then? Beyonce?"  
  
"She does nursery rhymes now?"  
  
"Not funny."  
  
"We'd make our own nursery rhymes." she added enthusiastically. Blinking slowly, she realized the implactions that came with her last statement. Making their own nursery rhymes would mean having their own baby. She looked over at the newly formed from on his face. "Ryan." Again, two syllables meant a thousand things.  
  
"You know," his voice was soft but yet rough. "the idea was just beginning to settle with me. I'd have a tough little kid to play soccer with. A gorgeous little doll who looked just like you. Something all ours- we didnt have to borrow it or take it or beg for it. It wasn't given by charity or anything. Its just you and me and..." He swallowed and looked away. Not wanting to finish his sentence, not wanting to finish his thought.  
  
"I named her you know." Theresa began where Ryan left off. "You know how I wanted a girl. I expected a little girlie girl to dress up in fancy ruffled skirts and lots and lots of pink. I wanted her to be pefect. Not like brilliant or super talented or drop dead beautiful or anything. But perfect with the very best of me... and the very best of you..." Theresa pressed her head against the pillow. Biting her lip, she hoped that the tears that were forming in her eyes would not fall. But they did and Ryan's hand was there to wipe them away. He leaned his face closer and closer to hers, until finally they met in a soft kiss. The kissing became more and more intense, as though they poured all their emotion, their anger and grief into that one kiss.  
  
When they finally pulled apart, they smiled. Breathing deeply, Theresa looked over at Ryan and wondered if this- their relationship- would continue, even without the baby. He rested his weight against the bed, wondering the same thing. His love for her was ever present.  
  
"What was her name?" He finally asked, breaking the silence. Theresa closed her eyes for a moment, as if searching herself for the strength to say this name out loud. She touched the pendant at her throat- the silver lily Ryan had given her long ago to adorn her silver chain. He gave it to her as a Christmas gift, roughly shoving it into her hands while eagerly smiling to see her open it. That was two- three- it was years ago. Theresa knew that it wasn't just a pendant. It was as close to Ryan would ever come to admiting he wanted to give her his heart. Theresa's eyes opened and a sad smile formed upon her mouth. She found the answer for Ryan.  
  
Touching the pendant once more, she spoke, "Lily." 


	4. 4

"Hey Sandy." Ryan sounded cheerful on the phone to his guardian. Sandy, who had spent the better part of the past twelve hours constantly checking his phone to see if Ryan had called, breathed a sigh of relief at hearing the boy's voice. More than that, he was startled at the happy tone. Was this the same boy that was almost in tears in the hospital?  
  
"Sandy, are you there?"   
  
"I'm here, kiddo. What's going on?" Sandy sounded like the calm and collected adult that he was supposed to be, but really, he clutched his cellphone so tightly with nervousness his knuckles were turning white.   
  
"Can Theresa and I come for dinner?" Of all the things Sandy had expected Ryan to say, this was the last on his list. If Ryan asked for money to pay the hospital bill, or a recommendation for a better doctor, or... just not this. This was too normal. Far too normal for two kids who had just suffered a miscarriage.  
  
"Are you sure?" Immediately Sandy regretted the question.  
  
"Uh, if it's inconvenient for you than we-"  
  
"Nonsense." the guardian interrupted. "Be at the house around seven, okay?"  
  
"Okay." a smile spread across Ryan's lips. "Thanks. Bye." And the line went dead. Sandy sat, nestled in the soft pillows of his couch, wondering how and why Ryan seemed so okay in such a short amount of time. He stared off into space, his vision clouded as he sat fixated on the blank screen of the television in front of him. The sounds of his wife sipping an afternoon coffee in the kitchen seemed miles away and her voice was nothing but a blaring horn of sound.   
  
"Dad, who was that?" Seth asks accusingly. "Dad?" Noticing his father's lack of attention, he stands up indignant. "I cant believe you." He says under his breath as he rushes out of the family room and into his room. There is a continued silence as Kirsten continues sippin her coffee and her husband continues staring into nowhere.  
  
Finally, he turns to look at his obviously worried wife. "That was Ryan. Kirsten, he's bring Theresa here for dinner. Tonight."  
  
XXX  
  
Back at home, Ryan touches Theresa's face for the millionth time since they have been laying in bed. His skin is rough, but the way he touches her is so gentle, it's like a butterfly's wings brushing against Theresa's skin. She looks at him, her head has not moved from the safet of his chest since she left the hospital. They both know that they can't afford to miss work anymore, but she enjoys this too much. Playing hooky with Ryan. It's just like a year ago. A year before he left. When he left and didn't even call.  
  
"You suck." she thought out loud. Her voice was an intrusion on the stillness of their bedroom. Ryan, who has been lying back resting against the pillows, now sits up rigidly causing Theresa's head to roll from his chest to his lap. She turns slowly to look up at his face, searching for his expression, piecing together an explanation in her mind.  
  
"Sorry." he mumbles, touching her face yet again. "What did you just say?" He helps to pull her up, so she is sitting in front of him. His legs outside her legs, his chest pressed to her back, his chin on her shoulder, his lips by her neck. Tingles trickle down Theresa's back as his hot breath makes contact with her skin.  
  
"Just thinking. About last year." she begins. "It was all so simple, remember? You and me and the nothing to do. Then you disappeared. And it was just me. Now, its you and me and things are so..."  
  
"Different?" he supplied, noticing her loss for words.   
  
"Exactly."   
  
And an awkward hush takes over. Their bodies are pressed to one another, and still they are barely connecting. Ryan snakes his arm around her waist, and lands his palm gently on her abdomen. It is still slightly swollen- a sign of what was there only a day before. He feels her body move against her chest, her ribcage rises as she takes a sudden breath. She leans her face to the side, her cheek mashing against his face. His lips graze her skin and he begins to trail soft kisses along her jawline. Before long, he notices that she's crying.  
  
"Shhh," he coos. "Theresa, don't. You said you were done crying."  
  
Theresa turns to face him, looking straight into his eyes. His round face seemed to be without expression, eyes wide staring back at her. In her eyes, he sees only sadness. But it is not the harsh grief he had seen the day before, but instead lonely rings of brown.  
  
"Ryan." The tone of her voice warns that unpleasant words are to come. He holds her closer to him, hoping to ease the unhappiness out of her. "I know you came here just cause of the baby. I could tell... you loved Marissa. And she seemed to love you too."  
  
"Theresa. Don't." Ryan snaps. "Marissa and I a-"  
  
"And I really appreciate that you came here but I know nothing will ever go back to the way it was." Her lip begins to tremble and more large glistening tears tumble of her face, staining tear drops unto Ryan's shirt. "I love you, Ryan. And-"She can't finish. He has tilted her chin upwards and kissed her forcefully on the mouth. He kisses her more and more, thinking of every sadness and unhappiness the two of them have faced together. So concentrated on his thoughts of her, Ryan doesn't even notice that she's not kissing back.  
  
"I love you too." He mumbles into her lips. Looking at him, she notices that he is full of passion but it turns into discontentment and surprise as she softly shoves him off her.  
  
"Ryan." She apologetically says. "I love you and I know you love me." She closes her eyes because she cannot bear to see his reaction to her next statement. "But we can't be together." Still refusing to look at him, she continues. "You have this great new life in Newport with that perfect family in that beautiful pool house and that great school. And you're going to do great things, Ryan. I know you. But I'm here and I've got Arturo and my mom to look out for. This is my life with my family, Ryan. You've got to go back to Newport to yours."  
  
"My life is where I am. And I'm here. Now." He kisses her cheek softly. "With you."  
  
"Life is where your family is. We were going to have one but now we're not. So I'm going to stay here with my family. And you're going to Newport to your new one." She explained.  
  
"Family?" Ryan said.  
  
"Yeah, Ryan. That's what the Cohens are to you." 


	5. 5

Author's Note: hey ! i'm glad most of you are liking it so far. this is my first fanfic ever so i'm so thrilled at the positive reviews! thanks so much. this is going to be quite a story. i'm not actually not sure yet if its going to end r/t... personally, i really like theresa tho... so i'll figure it out when I get there...  
  
"Hey guys, guess what?" Sandy Cohen asks of his family as they sit comfortably absorbing the golden hues of the summer sun. Kirsten's still in her office clothes, as she sits on the edge of a lounge chair talking to her teenage son, who wades in the cool water of their pool.  
  
"What's going on Sandy?" Kirsten turns to her husband, gently brushing back the golden tendrils of her hair. Seth, maintains his position in the pool, refusing to turn to his father. The two have not been on good terms ever since Seth returned from his impromptu trip to Ecuador. Though he still claimed that taking that trip was absolutely necessary, both his parents and his now ex-girlfriend, Summer, proclaimed that he had been completely self-centered and self-absorbed... as usual. A doting mother welcomed him with open arms and comforting hugs when a tanner, fatter, more Spanish- speaking Seth returned to the Cohen home. While Sandy, though relieved, was still quite angry with his boy's disappearance. "I taught you to be a man, Seth." And Seth had disappointed him.  
  
Seth glares at his father for the millionth time today, in a cheap imitation of the look Ryan had perfected. The look that said "don't bother me, don't mess with me, believe me, you don't want that". Ryan has the patent on that look, but Seth, with the internal anger at his father and the lonesome days alone with no one but Captain Oats to talk to, is getting better and better at this look.  
  
"Ryan and Theresa are coming to dinner."  
  
"What?!" Seth exclaims, nearly jumping out of the water. A brief wave of worry passes through his eyes, but soon a wide smile finds itself on his face. Yes! His brother is returning. Before Ryan came along, he was an insignificant teenage boy with the heart and interests of a ten-year-old. Now, Ryan was coming home and he would finally be able to feel a little older again.  
  
"Yes, son." Sandy says, dully. It has been quite a day for him, first with Ryan's call and then with the realization that Ryan may be coming home. "It was Ryan I visited the other day. He didn't want me to tell you. But he and Theresa are coming over for dinner tonight and they have some important to tell us."  
  
But Seth didn't hear him. The teenage boy mind races with the millions of things he has to tell his estranged brother. From Ecuadorian women to the dull days of Newport and the horrific day that Summer dumped him- Seth was overjoyed that Ryan was coming home.  
  
XXX  
  
Theresa lays curled up in her bed, her arms are wrapped around her tanned body and her legs are nestled comfortably beneath a single sheet. She blinks her eyes open and realizes that she is naked. Carefully twisting to face the other direction, body now presses up against Ryan's. Images begin to flash in her mind- the raw, passionate sex they just had. The one last sad physical connection between the two of them. Oh God. Ryan. We just had our goodbye sex. She turns away again, and closes her eyes forcefully. Willingly, fatigue takes over her body and she drifts off to sleep.  
  
An hour of so later, Ryan wakes up feeling quite exhausted- physically and emotionally. He had said little to Theresa this past month, careful not to burden her with his own worries about the baby and their relationship. He was not a man of words, but actions. Past encounters with fists and bruises were a testament to his forceful physical nature. He punched walls when angry, he beat up his bed when he was sad- but this, this was a different approach to his physical way of letting out his emotions.  
  
He had pumped every last ounce of his grief and sadness and confusion into his gratifying sex with Theresa. When he had moaned, it had been a mixture of pleasure and pain. A release of everything he had kept pent up inside of him for so long. Ever since he had broken up with Marissa, he kept it all in. This- this was how he let it all out. Raw, wild, uninhibited sex. But in his heart he knew this was even more than that. This was goodbye. This was his and Theresa's last hurrah. At least, that's how she had explained it to him.  
  
Without a kiss or any amorous affection, he shakes her into consciousness and tells her to get ready. They have dinner with the Cohens soon. They needed to get ready. Ryan climbs into his favorite pair of dark jeans and searches around for a nice shirt. All the while, his eyes continuously glance at Theresa's form. Her blazing long dark hair, the delicious curve of her hip, the silky contour of her breasts. She looks up shyly catching his eye and her eyes travel away immediately.  
  
Finally, Ryan is fully dressed and Theresa though in a simple dress, looked stunning. However, she is still on all fours searching for her favorite pair of sandals. Joining her in the search for the shoes, Ryan opens random closets and tears through their contents. In the hallway across their room, he opens the door to an extra closet, one that he had never even paid attention to before. Inside lay a suitcase, Theresa's suitcase. It was fully packed.  
  
XXX  
  
"What time are they coming?" Kirsten asks Sandy for the thousandth time. She crosses and uncrosses her legs again. Her fingers embrace a half-full wine glass and her lips caress the edge for yet another sip. She is nervous. She wonders what Theresa looks like pregnant. Her memory crawls back to the time when Seth still lay peacefully inside her. The happy glow of pregnancy, the days of thinking of baby names- to lose it all. She doesn't know what to say to Theresa. Four loud knocks echo through the room before Sandy has a chance to reply. They're here. Kirsten abandons her wine glass on the table and saunters to the front door to open it.  
  
Ryan and Theresa stare into the room. For a moment no one says anything. It's obvious they've both been crying. 


	6. 6

Author's note: this is the longest chapter so far. its also my favorite. surprise ending to come! happy readings!  
  
Dinner conversation was scarce for Sandy and Kirsten as they searched for words of sympathy to offer Ryan and Theresa for their loss. Seth on the other hand was like a bouncy puppy with his favorite chewbone back. He continued on and on over the first half hour about his unbelievable trip to Ecuador and his heart wrenching break up with Summer, etcetera etcetera etcetera. Finally, noticing the sense of boredom and distraction in everyone else's face he shut up.  
  
"So, Ryan, Theresa," Sandy said gently. "Are you guys doing okay?" His earnest eyes looked straight into Theresa's as he said this. Expertly she shifted her eyes away, beneath the table her fingers began tap incessantly against her skirt. Intuitively, Ryan shifted his left hand from his lap to hers, and immediately her fingers coiled themselves around him.  
  
"Yeah, so how are baby things?" Seth asked nonchalantly, stuffing another forkful of roast chicken into his mouth. Theresa looked at Ryan, who in turn looked back at Theresa, before the two turned to look at Sandy. An elephant of awkwardness danced on the dinner table as the three shared glances and Kirsten filled her wineglass once more.  
  
"Hello?" Seth drew the attention back to him.  
  
"There's no baby." Ryan said simply. As the words left his lips, Theresa's fingernails tattooed crescent moons unto his palm. Slightly wincing in pain, Ryan gave Seth a meaningful look.  
  
"What do you me-"Realization dawned on Seth suddenly. "Oh. You guys. I'm so sorry. I really honestly am. Are you okay?" Theresa opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, just the thick breath of sadness.  
  
"Seth, honey, I think they're still figuring that out." Kirsten answered for the couple.  
  
"Actually..." Ryan disagreed.  
  
"Actually, I've decided that I'm going to leave California for a while. I'm heading to Atlanta to my cousin's for a while." Theresa continued for Ryan. "My flight is later tonight actually. It seems cowardly to be running out, but I just can't.. can't..." She swallowed hard and ordered herself not to cry again. She felt drained of tears. They had spilled down her face, unto her dress, on the car upholstery, on Ryan's fingers, the whole car ride from Chino. She didn't want to cry anymore.  
  
Soft fingers began gliding up and down her fore arm. Ryan eyes smile at her, though his lips say nothing. She nods her head gently, signaling for him to start speaking.  
  
"So, uh, since she's going to be heading out. Is it alright if I come back here?" Ryan said softly. Sparkles of happiness and relief radiate from the Cohens. They reassure him over and over again that he's not imposing and that legally, he has to stay with them, so not to feel bad. Seth smiles widely at his brother, knowing that he and Ryan will go back to everything just the way it was.  
  
XXX  
  
After dinner, they are all seated in the living room, pleasantly talking about small matters. No one wants to face the bigger questions. No one wants to ask Ryan whether he's okay with Theresa moving. No one wants to ask whether the couple is still together. They just sit and talk and have wine, which Theresa can now drink, Kirsten notes in her mind.  
  
"Theresa, could you come with me to the kitchen for a moment?" Kirsten asks, getting up off the couch and heading towards the kitchen. Theresa lets go of Ryan's hand for the first time since he took it during dinner. Without it, her hands are cold and empty. She hates this feeling. It's the feeling that permeates her soul whenever Ryan is gone. Wondering why Kirsten has asked her into the kitchen, she walks slowly through the luxurious home of the Cohens. Theresa wants to open up to Kirsten and tell her all the secret doubts and fears she has, for some reason there is a connection between the two women. Kirsten has a fondness for this girl, even stronger than the like she had for Marissa. Scolding herself, Kirsten tells herself not to compare Ryan's two girlfriends.  
  
"Yes, Mrs. Cohen?" Theresa says entering the kitchen.  
  
"Are you okay? Really. I just need to know. I can't put you on a plane to Atlanta-"  
  
"I'm taking the bus, Mrs. Cohen."  
  
"No, Sandy just booked you on the eight o'clock flight to Atlanta."  
  
"Mrs. Cohen, I can't take anymore from you and your husband really, the bus would be ju-"Theresa protests the handout. She hates feeling like the charity case whenever she enters this home. Aware that the Cohens are a naturally generous and kind family, Theresa still thoroughly despises pity.  
  
"Theresa, we're doing this for ourselves too you know. I'd worry night and day while you rode that bus. At least now, I can call you in two hours and know you're safe with your cousin." Kirsten convincingly explains to the younger woman. Quite aware of Theresa's dislike of pity and handouts, Kirsten has honestly and craftily made an excuse for why this gift is necessary.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Theresa, please tell me how you're feeling." Kirsten pleads softly, placing a supportive hand on Theresa's shoulder.  
  
"I'm not going to cry, Mrs. Cohen." Theresa swallows hard, clasping her wineglass tightly. "But honestly, I feel broken. I've lost a part of me... a part of Ryan. That's why I have to go. I can't be anywhere near anything that reminds me of him and me and how happy we would have been." Against her will, a tear appears at the corner of her eye. But she continues speaking anyway. "I'm not going to kid myself, thinking we'd have a happy life if I did have the baby. But I know that Ryan and I would have made a happy family. That's what I know in my heart. Our baby would have had a mother and a father and more.. much more than enough..." She gasps for breath and cannot continue.  
  
"More than enough what?" Kirsten presses.  
  
"Love." The word creeps through Theresa's lips in a small hiss, in a mixture of sound and gasp for air. She clenches her jaw shut to prevent a sob from escaping. Leaning her head backwards, her eyes flicker in search for the strength to speak some more. Just at that moment, Ryan enters the kitchen in search for more water.  
  
Standing frozen in the doorway, he watched the woman that once carried his child begin to break in to tears for the millionth time in the past 24 hours. He turns his head, unable to bear this sight again. He should have been used to it by now. He should have been able to prevent his heart from squeezing itself into a pretzel over and over again. But the simple sound of his girlfriend- best friend- old friend- Theresa sobbing caused Ryan's heart to fill with an toxin that poisoned all happiness within him. He couldn't bear it.  
  
XXX  
  
Later that night, with the Ryan and the Cohens, Theresa climbed into the Range Rover. Her suitcase was tucked safely in the back but still she squirmed, sitting between Seth's non-stop chatter and the soothing scent of Ryan's aftershave. Her hand was still enclosed in his, but her mind was a thousand miles away from him... or at least trying to head in that direction. Everything was Ryan to her. She searched for a memory without him. So there had been Eddie, but all the things he did for he, each sentence he spoke, she wondered what Ryan would have said or done. When he first raised his hand to attack her face, she imagined Ryan standing in the doorway and kicking it open to pummel Eddie to the ground. Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. Every moment in time, he wasn't just with her, away from, on her, near her, in her- he was eternally embedded in her being. He was a part of her. Too big a part. A part that she needed to learn to live without.  
  
As all five people sat in the car without speaking, the vocal stylings of the Goo Goo Dolls surrounded them. In a random search for a radio station, Sandy had come across a love song station.  
  
"And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life And sooner or later it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight"  
  
Ryan's eyes dart immediately into Theresa's. It was about two summers ago that they lay on the hood of her brother's car with this song blaring into the night air. They had just lay there all night, first watching the stars, then counting them until finally the stars disappeared and they sat together watching the heavy blue black sky morph into layers of orange, pink, lavender and finally a silky baby blue. He had kissed her just as the final sweep of baby blue took over the sky, it had been just as the song ended.  
  
Theresa looks back at Ryan and cannot help but smile. Honest and caring his eyes are tonight. At times they block out all emotion, at times she sees nothing but a reflection of herself. She wants to say so many things to him. Words that she tried to bring to life through her lips but couldn't. They dart through her mind from all direction. Oh Ryan. How will I survive with you so far away? Ryan, I meant what I said about needing to get away. I love you. Truly. More than you will ever know. You have to understand that. But please, I also need to be me. I need that almost as much as I need you. And when I find me, we can... We'll be us. The way we were always supposed to.  
  
The car comes to definitive halt. They've reached the airport. 


	7. 7

Ryan sits silently in the Range Rover, as Sandy drives further and further away from LAX and further and further from Theresa. His face seems carved of stone, no expression, no thought. The blue of his eyes have transformed into dark pools of blackness. Something has taken over him. Longing.  
  
Touching his lips, he still tastes her skin. He had kissed her fingertips as they stood before the massive electronic doors of the Los Angeles Airport. Her name was the only word that tumbled through his throat as she turned and walked into the building. Every thought, word, feeling that had raced through his mind during the long car ride vanished. He just stood there, still and silent, eternally kissing her fingertips amidst the never ending activity of the airport.  
  
Ryan closes his eyes for a moment, hoping that a world without vision will expel the images of Theresa in his mind. He was wrong. Without having to see the world, his mind focused solely on her. Every bit of her. Every memory that Ryan ever had with Theresa seemed to collide into each other in a random jungle of pictures in his mind.  
  
Suddenly he was six years old racing after her in his front yard. He was nine and helping her to memorize the 50 states of the country. He was twelve at the Jr. High Dance, leaning down to give her her first kiss. He was fourteen and begging her to skip class with him. He was fifteen and... Ouch! Something sharp pierces through his jeans and stabs his thigh. His hands roam the seat until he touches something cold and solid. Picking it up, he realizes it's a lily-shaped pendant. The one he gave Theresa.  
  
"STOP THE CAR!" the words cannonball out of his mouth before he knows what he is asking. Kirsten, Sandy and Seth all look at him with their mouths in O-shapes. "Please. I can't let her go!" Still unable to control his words or his body, Ryan lunges forward and spins the steering wheel, causing the vehicle to lean in an awkward U-turn.  
  
Closing his eyes Ryan's adrenaline surges through every artery and vein, as if his heart is pumping only that. Unconsciously, he bites his lip in anticipation of what he is about to do. I can't say good-bye, Theresa. I'm sorry.  
  
"Bro, you know I tried this already. And it didn't exactly work." Seth says rationally to Ryan.  
  
With a look of pure sincerity in his eyes, Ryan turns to Seth and says, "The difference is you tried to tell Anna not to go if she was going because of you-"The words are stuck in his throat. She IS leaving because of Ryan.  
  
"You were saying?" Seth asks with a smile, patting Ryan on the back.  
  
"Seth, shut up." Sandy scolds. "I'm not turning this car around again."  
  
"You can't force him to go after her." Seth whines.  
  
"The difference is," Ryan announces loudly. "I'm in love with her."  
  
XXX  
  
"Fuck." Theresa curses as she is told by a very perky, very made up, very obviously fake blonde stewardess- excuse me, flight attendant. Bored within the first two seconds of waiting at the gate. Theresa decides she can't take it and leaves the gate. Realizing that she is unable to leave this particular terminal, she damns the new strict post-911 airport rules. She begins to wander the terminal.  
  
XXX  
  
Stepping out of her best friend's Jeep, Marissa Cooper helps her best friend unload her luggage.  
  
"Aw, Coop! We're going to New York!" Summer exclaims excitedly.  
  
"Yeah, its going to be quite a trip." Marissa agrees though not quite as enthusiastically.  
  
"C'mon, Coop! Smile! You, me, your mom's need to buy your love, your new stepdad's credit card. NYC here we come!" Summer throws her arms in the air in a display of love for shopping, especially shopping in the Big Apple.  
  
She tosses the keys to Marcus, her father's secretary, who has been bored to tears in the backseat listening to Summer's list of clothes to buy and how good they would look on her. Happily, Marcus gets in the drivers seat and speeds away. Eager to tell his boss that the young Ms. Roberts and Ms. Cooper safely arrived at the Los Angeles Airport. 


	8. 8

Theresa finally decided on coffee. It had been a long day. It had been a long two days. With everything she went through in the past forty eight hours, she could write a book. But right now, she didn't have the energy to. She needed caffeine. Looking around for a coffee shop she finally decides on the cute little seemingly French café. A good cup of coffee and maybe a French crepe or something sounded just perfect.  
  
XXX  
  
"Seth, hurry up!" Ryan calls out over his shoulder as he dashes between the many people at the LA Airport. Seth, who had insisted on coming with Ryan for moral support, chased after him with a complete lack of speed. For someone whose lungs suffered from constant attack of cigarette smoke, Ryan had an unbelievable capability to run.  
  
As his legs race through the enormous airport, his mind is somewhere else completely. While he climbs the stairs to the Departure area, his mind tells him he is climbing the stairs of Theresa's house. His legs bump against a wooden bench and his mind bring him back to a night they spent on a park bench together. Turning sharply through a doorway, his mind tells him its the entrance to his kitchen where she often surprised him with cupcakes and kisses.  
  
Then suddenly, he stops. He stands in a sea of people, different ages, faces, hair colors, eyes colors and he realizes he doesn't know where to go from there. He won't be allowed towards the gates. What more can he do? Search every woman in this swarm to find the one he loves. He'll do it.  
  
Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath to prepare himself for the massive task ahead of him. But before he cam even open his eyes again, arms are flung around his neck and a female body presses up against his. He is smiling inside, he hadn't needed to find her, she found him. Holding her tenderly, Ryan inhales the comforting scent of her hair. Theresa never failed to smell like- watermelon? What the fuck? This isn't Theresa. Ryan's eyes widen in disbelief and confusion.  
  
Through the continuous buzz of the crowd's conversations, he hears Seth's lone voice.  
  
"Marissa?"  
  
XXX  
  
After a few minutes of sprinting, Seth finally gave up on maintaining speed with Ryan. He lagged further and further behind, until he did his best at a hurried walk. But while he not so gracefully pushed his way through the crown, a constant following of "Ouch" and "Watch it" followed him. As he entered the Departure area, he caught site of Ryan stop his fluid movement. He saw Ryan stay still. He saw a girl with blonde-brown hair wrap herself around Ryan.  
  
"What the hell? Coop!" a familiar female voice rang out behind him.  
  
"Marissa?!" Seth yelped in shock, realizing who the girl attached to Ryan was.  
  
"Cohen??" Summer gasped.  
  
"Su- Sum- Summer?" Seth stammered. Turning around to look at the small brunette. All thoughts that related to Ryan and Theresa fled from his brain. "What- What are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm trying to get Coop off of Chino so we make our flight to New York on time," she explained quietly.  
  
"You're going to New York?"  
  
"Yeah," her voice had lowered a few notches. She was barely above a whisper.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"But," she added carefully, watching Seth's expression. His eyes had gone from disappointed to hopeful with that single word. "I'll be back soon." Her lips twitched, almost smiling but never accomplishing the feat. Seth on the other hand, stood emotionless for a split second before breaking into a wide smile.  
  
"Great. I'll see you, then?" his voice was both joyous and full of hope. Summer's heart twisted in her chest. She had been longing to see him for so long. And now, they were finally face to face by pure luck and she was leaving. Thinking of the short itinerary of her New York trip, Summer sighed in relief. She'd be home within days.  
  
"Definitely."  
  
XXX  
  
Once Ryan realized it was Marissa in his arms and not Theresa he violently pushed her off. He hadn't meant to, but it seemed like one sick joke to him and bile crept into his throat. What the fuck was Marissa doing here?  
  
"Ryan, what's going on?" Marissa asked, her big brown eyes conveyed nothing but hurt at the action Ryan had just taken against her. "Did Summer tell you to come? 'Cause I swear, I didn't tell her to make you come here. Maybe she was just excited about New York-"  
  
"New York? What?" Ryan was completely befuddled. Marissa looked into his eyes and she went from overjoyed about seeing the so-called love of her life standing at the airport supposedly looking for her to completely crushed in realization that it was not her he was looking for.  
  
"You really don't know, do you?" she said in realization. "Who are you here for then?"  
  
Simply, directly and honestly he told her: Theresa. Two blinks of her big brown eyes later and tears dribbled down her concealer and blush. She turned and ran.  
  
XXX  
  
Theresa was sitting pleasantly eating her croissant while the confrontations occurred. However, as she brought the coffee cup to her lips her eyes caught sight of a familiar dark jacket topped with a familiar head of dark blonde hair. Ryan? She thought to herself. Was she dreaming yet again? No, because her dream wouldn't be face to face with Marissa Cooper. Tremors of shock flooded through Theresa's body. In seconds the sound of smashed china and splashing coffee filled the café. 


	9. 9

Author's note: I HEART ALL OF YOU WHO REVIEW!! u have no idea how excited i am when i discover new reviews. believe me! this is going to end soon, im sorry for the very very short appearances of summer and marissa.... anyways, happy readings! And because I've never mentioned it before: I own none of the characters. I own the storyline though, so if you are from the O.C. and want to use it this coming season, leave me a review with a number where I can reach you. ;o)  
  
XXX  
  
Theresa apologetically paid for her coffee and croissant at the café before running to the ladies room. Standing before the sinks, she stared at a woman she barely knew. She was not carefree Theresa nor was she rebel Theresa. As much as she loved Ryan, she wasn't Theresa in love and she definitely was not pregnant Theresa. She simply was a girl with a humble background, currently angry at her mother for being relieved with the miscarriage, despised by her brother for dumping his best friend and leaving the one man she ever really loved. The one she still loved. The one she had to let go. The one that was just with Marissa Cooper- the rich, skinny, pampered Newport brat. Why couldn't Ryan at least wait until Theresa was gone?  
  
After splashing water on her now coffee stained dress, she made her way out of the ladies room.  
  
"He didn't come here to see Marissa. I swear." A voice attacked her as soon as she stepped unto the terminal floor again.  
  
"What?" though she understood the jist of the statement, Theresa was still slightly confused.  
  
"Ryan! He made my dad turn the car around so he could come here and beg you not to go." Seth explained hurriedly. "He was looking for you... Well, I was helping... When Marissa came out of nowhere and pounced on him. He doesn't know you saw, or that I've seen you. He's talking to Summer right now, I think. I don't know. But please, you've got to talk to him."  
  
Theresa stood in silence for a few moments, absorbing the new information Ryan's brother had just bestowed upon her.  
  
"So you're saying that you guys were in the car, didn't have a clue that Marissa was here and Ryan just up and asked for Mr. Cohen to turn the car around?" she said slowly, trying to clarify the news.  
  
"Well, he kind of turned the car around himself, but yeah. He went nuts after he found this," Seth reached into his pocket and drew out the lily- shaped pendant. "Its yours, right?"  
  
Theresa lost all capability to form words, much less sentences. She had purposely left that article in the car, she actually tried to stuff it into Ryan's pocket when he wasn't looking, but she had failed. She knew that if she took this with her, even with the country between them, Ryan would still be with her. Her running away now was about becoming her own person. Her own Ryan-free person.  
  
Regret began to slither into her mind. Perhaps, it would be better if she stayed. After all, she tried living a Ryan-free life once. That had ended her with an engagement ring, an ambition-free fiancé and a series of bruises. NO. Theresa, what the hell? Leaving. Tonight. Atlanta.  
  
"Hello? Theresa?" Seth pressed. Without knowing, Theresa had her palm flat on her abdomen. The lily-pendant struck her maternal instinct once again. Only, she shouldn't even have maternal instinct now.  
  
"Ryan gave it to me. It's not mine to keep anymore."  
  
XXX Realizing that Marissa was in tears as she tore through the gate, Summer took the opportunity to lay a smack on his shoulder. Staring at the short brunette, Ryan kept silent. His eyes were still darting around the massive room to find Theresa. But the penetrating aura of Summer forced him to fixate on her words. She began to question him on what he had just done to Marissa.  
  
"Look. Summer." He said definitively, in an attempt to shut her the hell up. It worked. Her pouty lips fastened shut. "I'm here to find Theresa. She's supposed to be getting on a plane to Atlanta. Like, now."  
  
"Oh." Her whole face fell. She was taken aback, completely unaware that Ryan and Theresa had lost the baby, her brow wrinkled in confusion at why the girl would be leaving.  
  
"Yeah. I had no clue about New York." His voice was solid, neither apologizing nor insulting.  
  
"Oh," again she was at a loss for things to say. The following words fell through her throat for no reason whatsoever, except maybe that in her heart, away from her prejudices against the Chino native, she knew he was a good person. "The trip was my idea. I really wanted Marissa to get out of Newport. She's been at a different party almost everyday for weeks now. And she hasn't exactly been going home in the best condition. You know? Passed out. Drunk. Generally just fucked."  
  
"What?" this was the last thing Ryan needed at that particular moment.  
  
"Her dad hasn't noticed because he's finally dating now. Which is cool, but his ex-girlfriend's sister?! Ew!" Ryan raised an eyebrow. "She's been messed up lately, Ryan. Pray that when she comes back she's better."  
  
"Uh, okay." Ryan said somewhat dully, his eyes still shifted above Summer's head in search for Theresa. Summer realized that perhaps she had said too much, Ryan definitely didn't need this. He was there for his fiancé/ex- girlfriend/girlfriend... whatever she was.  
  
"Look, I didn't mean to burden you with all this cra-"  
  
"Thanks for telling, Summer." Ryan gave her a weak smile, and nodded in sincerity.  
  
"Yeah, okay. Well, I've got to find Coop now." She smiled before turning and walking off towards the gates. But before she was even eight feet away, she tossed her hair over her shoulder and looked back at the confused Ryan Atwood. "See ya, Chino!"  
  
XXX  
  
Theresa managed to climb out of her coffee decorated dress and into an old but very comfy linen skirt and a plain white shirt. As she stepped out of the ladies room for the second time, she expected to see Seth, who had so kindly brought her the backpack that she carelessly left at the café when she ran off. Though knots still twisted in her heart when she thought of actually sitting on the plane, Theresa was glad about one thing. She was leaving her best friend in good hands. Seth was loyal and funny. Though not the most charming or best looking, he was at least interesting. They, Seth and Ryan, could spend hours together talking, sleeping in one another's rooms, going to various parties together... Her heart twisted once more. That was all the stuff she used to do with Ryan.  
  
"FUCK! Why does everything go back to him?" Theresa thought out loud as she crossed the threshold out of the ladies room. She wasn't aware, but quite a few pairs of eyes landed on her when the statement reached the air. A few angry mothers shot annoyed looks at her for cursing in public but there was also a small dark haired girl, about four years old, that simply stared at her with large chestnut colored eyes. A girl, almost still a baby. Looking at her made Theresa want to lose it again.  
  
"Go back to who?" a male voice said in a low tone. It wasn't Seth.  
  
"You, Ryan. Who else?" 


	10. 10

Author's Note: i think i'm the saddest one about this ending. i quite literally want to cry. but alas, the character's have to do what they have to do. tears. many thanks to everyone who reviewed. btw, check chapter three for first mention of the pendant & its significance. also, i finally incorporated the title into the story. hope this ending is good enough for all of you!  
  
I still don't own the O.C. but really, if you want my storyline for the show, you have to call me first. Or at least leave a number where I can reach you. ;o)  
  
XXX  
  
"Can we talk?" Ryan asks expectantly. Theresa holds back the urge to laugh. From the time they could barely speak in complete sentences due to their age, to the times when they couldn't form complete sentences due to their ongoing sexual activity, Ryan was never much for talk. It was perfect for her and her unique love of silence. It was probably the fact that in her own home, her ears were constantly being attack. Her mom's cooking was loud, her brother was loud, the people on the street, basically everyone except the boy next door.  
  
"Yes, Ryan. We can talk," Theresa agrees with a hint of annoyance. "While you walk me to your gate." She raises an eyebrow, this was some kind of dare. She feels his presence, so near to her, on every inch of her skin. What she wants, the first primal desire in her mind, away from all the Ryan imbedded wants and needs, is to run. But she can't do that. Not now and definitely not to Ryan. So, she starts walking anyway.  
  
Following closely behind her, Ryan's eyes fixate on her backpack, the worn purple Jansport she has used since high school started. He can't help himself, more and more memories of him with Theresa flood his brain. Stop it, Atwood, he scolds himself silently while shutting his eyes tightly. When he reveals his pupils again, they are directed in front of him. But Theresa and the purple backpack are gone.  
  
Panic seeps into him. He can't have possibly lost her again. His breath begins to quicken, his eyes scan the room, every woman, every dark haired person, every one with a-  
  
"Chill, Ryan. I'm here." Theresa's voice comes from beneath him. She's seated on a small table fiddling with the backpack that sat on her lap. Finally, she snaked her fingers into a small pocket and pulled out the lily pendant. With the glistening silver piece in her palm, she pressed her hand into Ryan's, returning the pendant.  
  
XXX  
  
Back in Chino, when Ryan knew nothing of Chrismukkah, the Atwoods never had a Christmas tree. Ryan's mom was always either completely wasted or passed out on the days surrounding December 25th so he had learned to stay away. And Trey? He was a good enough brother to find a decent present for Ryan, but the two were never connected enough- despite blood- to force them into spending such an important holiday as a family.  
  
So, when school paused its dismal activity for the holidays that year that Ryan first realized he could possibly love Theresa, he decided to spend Christmas with her.  
  
Theresa's mother always seemed to know that Theresa would fall for the boy next door, the way they played and later on, just hung out so much, it would have been impossible to ignore the smile with which Theresa watched Ryan. Theresa loved her mom and Ryan shared her- she might as well have been his mother as well. It was she who made Ryan birthday cakes after all. And she was actually quite relieved to find that Theresa would be bringing Ryan home for Christmas that year.  
  
When all Theresa's relatives left the home, it was merely Theresa, Arturo, their mom, Ryan and Trey, who had surprisingly shown up to hang out with Arturo. The older boys were in the garage, fixing the car that Arturo had given his mother for Christmas. The Lord only knew where he got it, but it was much appreciated nonetheless. The matriarch of the house had fallen asleep in her bedroom not long after her many relatives and acquaintances had left the living room. The only ones left on the first floor of the house were Theresa and Ryan.  
  
Though there was more than enough space for the two of them at the kitchen table, Theresa had found a comfortable position sitting on Ryan's lap. They were just sitting for a while. It wasn't that they were scared that Arturo would make Ryan bleed if he saw them kissing, or that Ryan would die of shame if her mother walked in on them being intimate, they were just comfortable like that. Two people, together, practically one.  
  
"Ryan," she had murmured with her face nuzzled to his neck. "Merry Christmas."  
  
He ran a gentle hand down her spine. His touch on her would last forever. They had had sex. They did it in hushed voices on the floor of her bedroom right above them. But that touch, it wasn't about sex, or passion, or desire. It was caring. It was Ryan. Ryan on Theresa.  
  
"I, uh, got you this." He said awkwardly pressing a small box into her hands. She opened it and her face broke into pure joy. "It's, uh, for the chai-"He couldn't finish, she just placed her lips delicately on his. It was the sweetest kiss, one that Ryan would never forget, even after dozens of other women. Because like his touch, it wasn't about desire, it was caring. It was Theresa on Ryan.  
  
"You know, this wasn't what I expected" she whispered, the silver lily pendant in her hand. His face began to fall. "It's better."  
  
XXX  
  
Ryan didn't know what to do anymore. In the past four had found her in Newport, they slept together in her little motel room, he had fought Eddie, he let her sleep in the pool house, he took responsibility when he found out she was keeping the baby, he moved back to Chino, he slaved at his job to pay the pre-natal care bills, he held her hand and cried with her when the baby was lost. Now, after all that and their friendship and their countless trysts, she was going to go live a life completely without him.  
  
"You can't-"he began. But words failed him. He had been quiet for so long and he had let all the many words he wanted to say fade away into a dark abyss of nothingness, but now when he most needed to speak and let the river of words flow through his throat, he couldn't. Not at all. Her eyes told him all the answers. They all seemed to be the same. No.  
  
"I can't go anywhere, Atlanta, Africa, Austria, to get away from you." her voice was soft and sincere. "You're a part of me, Ryan. And that's just how- who I am now. You've got to keep this. I don't need you on a necklace. You're here." Heavily, she lifted her other hand the one that wasn't clutching the pendant and his hand, and tapped her chest.  
  
"Ther-"  
  
"I'm going now. You know," her eyes began to glisten with tears. "I know that I'm always going to- we're always going to love eachother. But now, there's no Prince Charming move you can pull. Because I still need my time with the dwarves. Okay?" She rose to her feet, one hand still on Ryan's, the other on her heart. It was as though some beam of light from heaven had fallen upon her. After all the mumbling and crying and yelling and fighting, the right words- the right way to explain why she was leaving had just come out of her mouth. And in all irony, it was Snow White, the only Disney movie that they decidedly both detested.  
  
"But I love you." he regretted the words the moment they left his lips. It would look like some last resort to make her stay, but it clearly wasn't. He loved her. He loved her. He loved her.  
  
"I know," she said, leaning closer to him. "but this, now. We can't."  
  
"I hear you. I do, but I don't..."  
  
"Get it?" she supplied. Her arms were wrapping themselves around his body, and he reciprocated without thinking. The hug was awkward though, it wasn't like before. "It's just like this Ryan. We'll make it work someday." Grasping her in his arms, he held tighter and tighter, as if this would be their last hug ever. He pressed all of himself into that hug- love, anger, confusion, grief. Everything felt he passed to her.  
  
Eyes dry, lips shut tight, Theresa untangled herself from the hug. Looking Ryan in the eye, she gave a half-smile, the very facial expression she dubbed "the Ryan". And without a sound, she turned and walked away. Step after step, Ryan waited for her to stop and come rushing back into his arms, but she didn't. He fingered the engravings on the pendant in his hand "TR". It wasn't quite what he had expected from her.  
  
"So what happens?!" He calls out to her, hoping that she'll at least turn around and return to him before answering. Theresa, from her sandaled feet to her still swollen belly to her dark penetrating eyes, stood facing him so many, too many feet away. The purple backpack in her hand, the boarding pass in the other, she just stood staring at Ryan. Her eyes absorbed every last detail of him, memorizing him, painting a portrait in her heart. She parts her lips to speak and to the two of them, everyone else in the terminal has disappeared. Their sadness and disappointment have overflowed from their bodies and washed the rest of the happy society out of their space. It was just the two of them now and Theresa's words rising in her soul. Oh, words. They could break Ryan, smash his heart like a glass goblet on pavement. She wouldn't, though. Oh to find words to be the perfect answer. To save their sanity, even if they couldn't save the relationship. Words. Words. Pressure build in her throat, until she finally spoke.  
  
"We'll wait, Ryan. Wait for our happy ending."  
  
And she was gone.  
  
And he was there.  
  
And that was that.  
  
And that was everything.  
  
Life.  
  
Not expected. 


	11. EPILOGUE

Author's Note: Yes, that chapter was the last actual chapter, but I am writing a sequel, for those of you who want to see more of Theresa/Ryan. Also, I am taking all of your reviews into account. Mainly, I've learned this: 1) My grammar sucks. 2) I don't know tenses. Two things I already kind of knew. I promise I'll work on it in the sequel though. Thank you to: Ice Crystals, TheOCisMe, Brandywine421, Chilton Puff, summerc04, winterrose, Nels6354, finlee, Kimberly and Lynne. Thank you thank you thank you for reviewing you have no idea how smiley and giddy I get when I see the reviews!!! MWAH. Enjoy the epilogue.. Sequel to come! PROMISE!  
  
XXX  
  
EPILOGUE:  
  
Ryan sat still on his bed. It was his fourth night back in Newport and he still wasn't used to it. The bed was different than what he remembered, or maybe he was remembering the bed he had been sleeping in but a week ago. The mattress then was more firm and the sheets seemed so heavy in the stiff humidity of summer. And beside him, there were always the soft curves of his fiancée. Now, the bed was larger, the mattress softer, the air cooler and his heart in so much more pain.  
  
He pulled off the blankets and wrapped them around his half naked torso. Pulling a pillow to the floor he curled up in a fetus position and drifted into a sea of sleep and dreams. At night he didn't have to make a conscious decision to think of her. Images of her, sometimes of the past, sometimes in the future continuously flashed in his mind as he slept. There, he took comfort being enveloped by her.  
  
Four days later. Countless days til she came back. Theresa. Theresa. Theresa.  
  
XXX  
  
In his room, he stared at a giant map on the wall. Currently, a strand of red pins were arranged in the same route that he had taken to Ecuador. Seth, though longing to set sail again, was happily stuck in Newport.  
  
Some would call the only-child a bit self-obsessed, but that was just a part of Seth's character. So, while his closest friend ever/ new brother was both heart broken and devastated, Seth's overly creative mind was setting scenarios for him to approach Summer about a trip to Tahiti and perhaps, another chance at romance. Seven or so years after he first realized he had feelings for this girl, Seth was as in love with her as ever. The seasons came and went but in his heart, it was an eternal glow of Summer.  
  
XXX  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap. Rain again. Wasn't Atlanta supposed to be sunny? Where had she even read that? Theresa was bored. It was only four days into her trip. Her feet stung from the constant standing her job required, she never knew eight hours of waitressing a day would kill her body. She sat on the patio of her cousin, Eva's living room and stared out the window as she lit a cigarette. Inhaling deeply, she shut her eyes and entered a different world.  
  
All of a sudden, there were pictures covering the bare living room walls and the scent of vanilla and not cigarette smoke filled the room. The guest room was not Theresa's Spartan cell, but a little girl's nursery. And the footsteps fast approaching the front door of the apartment, were not her cousin's but that of her husband, Ryan.  
  
"Theresa, estas aqui? I'm home." Her cousin's voice rang out and her fantasy world disappeared. Twenty four hours into her stay in Atlanta, Theresa had broken her promise not to think about Ryan.  
  
Oops. What's a girl in love to do?  
  
XXX  
  
Sandy wrapped his arms around his wife, her soft hair overflowing unto his shoulders. Looking at up him, Kirsten smiled. Everything that had gone wrong in their little family had seemed to been healed in the past week or so. Ryan was no longer becoming a teenage father, he was living comfortably in the pool house and he worked decent hours in the Crab Shack. While, Seth, had returned from his whirlwind trip to Ecuador, was still happily in love with Summer and spent hours on his boat but always came home at night.  
  
"Are we happy?" Kirsten asked her husband, thoughts reverted to Theresa- alone and probably traumatized by the miscarriage in Atlanta. She would call Theresa again in a week. From that moment Kirsten revealed her abortion, there was a bond sealed between the two women. Now, it was as if Kirsten adopted yet another child. Finally, she had a daughter.  
  
"Yes, babe. We are." Sandy replied, kissing her on the forehead. Still thinking of Theresa, Kirsten suddenly didn't believe him.  
  
XXX  
  
Techno music filled the air with hard beats and quick tempos. Summer, in a little tube top and matching capris, shook her booty like this was her last night in New York City. Well, actually, it was. Her best friend sat unceremoniously at the bar, bringing yet another martini glass to her lips. Summer, though loving her vacation, could never completely let go of her inhibitions and party like the wild seventeen year old she could be. That was Marissa's fault. Summer had to be responsible and play the part of babysitter.  
  
Still Summer turned around and gyrated to the fast pace of the sound that reverberated through the plush upscale Manhattan nightclub. A colleague of Summer's father owned the place, and thus allowed the girls all access to VIP areas and of course, the bar.  
  
Looking up to check on Marissa yet again, Summer's face collapsed from carefree to chaotic. Marissa was gone. 


End file.
